Tucked in Shirts

What's with people who tuck in T shirts to their sweatpants and shorts? What's with tucking in a T shirt period? Matter of fact, what's with tucking in anything unless you're wearing a longsleeve button up that you will later wrap a tie around the neck of?

As far as I know, tucking in is a formal thing, like a tux or a business suit. Its certainly not comfortable, and it definitely doesn't look good. I may not know, being at work right now, writing a blog, wearing a stained T shirt, ripped jeans, flip flops, and shaggy hair. The world of the water cooler corporate formal workplace is an alien concept to me. But I'm not talking about work, I'm talking about the gym and the super market and sunday on the promenade. Sweatpants and shorts have no place in the world of tucking in, nor does the T shirt.

How about some comedy Chris?

Jeez, your blog used to be all this funny stuff, kind of like a piss poor Onion, but still funny. Recently its just been all these rants about your stupid political views and how stupid you think everything is. All of your 0 blog readers must be losing interest. What gives?

Shuttle Program Metaphor for Democratic Party

Last week I was pointing out to a co-workers the pathetic and sorry state of the democratic party illuminated in an LA Times article. I forget the headline and I'm too lazy to look it up but essentially it said that democrats were excited that they had lost in some district because its was predominantly Republican and they had only lost by a narrow margin, not a landslide.

I also recently heard an NPR segment about why soccer is so lame to Americans and they were chalking it up to the tie being so lame, and how there would be no more ties in hockey. They played a sound bite and were pointing out how silly it was that this announcer was screaming and falling out of his chair with excitement over some tied game.

So if the Euros are pathetic for getting excited about a tie, getting excited about a narrow loss instead of a huge one is gut-wrenchingly pathetic. I couldn't help but recall this Times article when this morning I heard some mission control guy refer to Discovery not blowing up on re-entry as, "a tremendous accomplishment." A tremendous accomplishment! You guys have done this about 130 times? What's so tremendous about not fucking this one up? I suppose its because the shuttles are so old and tired that doing anything properly is tremendous. Like the 96 year old man who runs the New York marathon.

Therefore, the democratic party = the shuttle program = a 96 year old man. Tremendous that they're not already dead.

GTA Hypocrisy

You all know how much I love the hypocritical and inverted logic of American culture. The one that catches my attention today, even though by now its old news, is the stupid "hot coffee" scandal of Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. I won't explain it to sub rock dwellers other than that there has been a mod discovered for the PC version that allows the main character CJ to have sex with his girlfriend. In the unmodded game, and on PS2, you see him go in to her house and you hear noises of sex and see the house actually shake, and it says, "remember, nice guys finish last..." on the bottom of the screen.

The mod actually brings the camera inside and allows you to control the sex, tapping buttons to increase thrust speed, space bar to change positions, etc. Its porno sex of the best kind, including the girl completely naked and CJ clothed, blowjobs with CJs hand pushing her head up and down, etc. Its pretty jerky animation and is quite comical.

So unless you have been living under said rock, I'm sure you've heard by now that the game had previously received a "Mature Audiences Only" rating, meaning it can't be sold to minors,but now the game has been pulled from virtually all store shelves. Rockstar will most certainly be sued by conservative groups.

Its yet another instance of the age old American paradox: no amount of violence, gun play, death, and explosions, are too much for a general audience, but god forbid if there is a hint of erotic sexual acts, its banned. In terms of harmfulness to children and sensitive viewers, we have got it completely backwards, as we usually do in this country.


The irony of this situation and of our culture is that GTA has been infamous for years, ever since the 1st game came out in 2001 or so, for being a bad infulence on children because the game involves robbing, killing, car jacking, shooting sprees, beating up of hookers, etc. Religious and parents groups tried to stir up the furor over the game, but it is so well made and so much goddamn fun, and it sold so well, that there wasn't much they could do but raise awareness that the game is controversial. I have no problem with that. I wouldn't reccomend the game be played by any one under about 12. The game had the equivalent of an R rating, it could be played by minors but only purchased by 18+. I was actually carded at Toys R Us when I bought San Andreas, being all of 26 years old.

So they've been complaining about the violence for years, but now that there is a scene, that must be unlocked by secret code mind you, of the back of a low polygon animated girl's head bobbing up and down, glimpses of angular pyramid boobs, and images of doggystyle sex etc., THAT is what pushes them over the edge and gets the game pulled from shelves and re-rated. Keep in mind no genitals are depicted. If it were real humans, it would be softcore and allowable on TV late at night.

So let me reiterate, all they did was complain about the violence for years, but as soon as sex is depicted, BAM! end of the road. The game is toast, and its national news.

You can see a demonstration of the Hot Coffee mod here, but skip forward 1 minute because the guy just talks in the beginning.

Not Quite a Cover Up, but Deceptive Disinformation

I don't know what the current death toll is of US Soldiers in Iraq, 27 guys died this week alone, but its probably close to breaking 2000 by now. This is a figure we are more or less familiar with, considering how long the war has gone on, its actually not THAT many. On September 8th, 2004 it was announced that the 1000th soldier had been killed, so 1000 per year is not terribly terribly horrible, however, it is still 1000 per year too many.

So the deception that is taking place, enacted by the Pentagon, is that these figures we hear are ONLY KIAs, killed-in-action. It doesn't acount for troops who were taken to a hospital and later died of their wounds! This number is significantly larger. Conservative estimates put it at 4000, liberal estimates closer to 6000. So when you add back in the 2000 that they actually acknowledge, anywhere from 6000-8000 US men and women have given their lives.

What are we getting out of this again?

The Real Reason Tenet and Pavitt Resigned from the CIA on June 3rd and 4th

This is pretty interesting

The Real Reason Tenet and Pavitt Resigned from the CIA on June 3rd and 4th


Makes you wonder.

Star Wars Episode III: The Backstroke of the West

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Originally uploaded by hellmar.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. An extremely poorly translated bootleg version of Revenge of the Sith. Some highlights here.
engrish


Here's a novel idea, how about this, its revolutionary: get a dude, who like, knows Chinese, AND English. At the same time! There ARE people in the world with this uncanny ability! They must be prohibitively expensive. Look them up on Google. I think they are called interpralators.

Note how the guy at the bottom comments, "better dialogue than Lucas could have written." Fucking classic.

Apparently the Chinese are also confusing their epic trilogies. "Dreamses," and "Troopseses," no Hobbitses? Also, how the hell did all those fucks get in there? And hey, Jedi Council, Presbyterian Church, same difference right?

Priorities 2: Killing a ball of cells vs a living breathing sentient being

What is wrong with the fucking people in this country? The latest issue of the day: whether to pass legislation that forces pharmacists who are against abortion to sell morning after pills. I guess a lot of them are refusing to sell them based on their personal moral objection to the use of the products they sell in their own store. If I worked in a pet shop, and someone came in to purchase a parakeet, and I personally don't believe birds should be held captive in cages, and so I refused to sell that person a parakeet because I though what they were doing was immoral, I would certainly be fired. Its called "not doing your job." If you disapprove of your customers, find a different job asshole. You don't see mormons working in liquor stores do you? If you are one of these faith based, intelligent design, anti-proven scientific fact people, what are you doing working in medicine in the 1st place? Go become a priest and molest little boys or something.

Apart from that, the real issue is abortion. These moral crusaders are okay with birth control pills that prevent an egg from becoming fertilized, but if the same exact drug, in larger doses, prevents a fertilized egg from implanting into the uterus, they object because its an abortion. (To be fair, Catholics don't even allow birth control.) I can only attribute this twisted logic to the dismal role of science in modern culture. Everyone is so uneducated that they don't understand this pesky little thing known as REALITY. Damn thing keeps getting in the way of our agendas! That is what science IS, the study of reality.

It happens quite naturally and frequently, a sexually active woman sometimes flushes out fertilized eggs when she has her period. So any woman that's had more than one period after a guy came in her, is a serial killer. Also, the entire medical world, including the FDA, you know, those liberal activists at the FDA, consider the pill to be birth control, not an abortion pill. This is based on the fact that the no one considers a woman pregnant until the fertilized egg has actually implanted itself in the uterus. That is the clinical definition of the word "pregnant." A pregnancy test, even the professional ones at the hospital, simply test for hormones that are released once the egg has attached itself. Pregnant doesn't mean there's a fertilized egg floating around in you somewhere, it means it is atached and groing into a fetus. The Oxford dictionary defines it thus: Pregnant: a woman or female animal having a child or young developing in the uterus.

How far back are they going to take this oxymoronic "sanctity of life" bullshit. Right now they've got it pegged at a stage that is earlier than the medical community and the english language dictionaries define as being pregnant. Soon, they will want to put people in jail for THINKING about having a baby and then deciding not to. Murderers! Baby killers!!

If you want to say that its immoral to destroy a ball of cells that has the potential to become a human, fine, I won't fault you. You have extremely strict limits on what you consider to be murder. But I'll respect that. Its like those vegans who won't even eat honey because it exploits the bees, and won't even eat vegetable that kill the plant, like carrot or potatoes. I'm a bit looser but I can respect your beliefs.

The priority paradox that is so batantly obvious with these retarded right to lifers, is that I imagine most of them eat meat! I will respect your beliefs, as long as they are not hypocritical, so if you are anti-abortion, fine, you'd just better be a vegan too. A ball of cells, vs a full grown adult mammal, hmmm. How can you want to protect a ball of fucking cells, something as sentient as e coli or at best a fruit fly, yet be fine with eating the flesh of slaughtered and psychologically tortured pigs or cows. A full grown pig is quite aware of what's going on when they are sent to the slaughter house. They tremble with fear and scream and piss themselves as the stand in line to be executed. Why is a potential human more important than a living animal, so much that they are willing to negatively impact society in a significant way to prevent the destruction of that potential human. Seems like radical antropocentrism to me. Now I know I'm generalizing by introducing politics here, but a vast majority of these pro-lifers are staunch Republicans, and war hawks. Why are they worried about a bacteria thing being destroyed before it has a chance to implant in the uterus when 14 adult men, some with families, we're blown up yesterday fighting a war (I mean a global struggle) whose purpose so far has been to create a safe haven country for terrorist. Excuse me, violent extremists.

The hypocrisy and inversion of logical, moral, priorities, is just fucking dumbfounding. These conservatives are unbelievable. What exactly is it that you guys stand for again? Cuz whatever it is, I'll show you twice as many ways where you guys are undermining you own efforts and doing the exact opposite of what you purport to "believe" in.
Jackasses.