End of New Content from Pope, Media

only survivors after last Friday's catastrophe
Originally uploaded by hellmar.

"Never again will the public hear a statement issued from the Pope and media that we haven't already heard," said Cardinal Matteo Di Tonino, "the pontificate and media that we have grown accustomed to providing us with new information from time to time, are finished." Pope Jean Paul II and the world news media were buried in St. Peter's Basilica early Thursday morning.

Said John Watkins of Dubuque, Iowa, "I liked being able to turn on the TV, radio, internet; read the newspaper and magazines; walk down the street with my eyes open and no earplugs; read the braille at the ATM; taste the country air; without all 5 senses being simultaneously barraged with messages about the death of the Pope. I remember when on the television, radio, and in newspapers, there was like, stuff about whether it was going to rain or not, celebrity murder aquittals, who won the basketball championships, and ill conceived US wars. I really hope there's like, a huge tidal wave, or Al Qaida would attack us or something."

At that moment a passerby commented, "didn't you guys hear? The rest of the world fell into the ocean last Friday night, and the only remaining population of the world, (besides us) is huddled together on a small island that used to be part of Italy. The rest of the world no longer exists."