Gail Norton Resigns

Environmental disaster Gail Norton has stepped down after years of blighting national forests and razing ecosystems the world over, to persue "new goals in the private sector." Norton, Secretary of the Interior and a former lobbyist and lawyer for the timber and oil industries, has been criticized as, "the fox appointed to guard the hen house." Political cronyism in the highest degree. I wonder what wolf Bush will put in to guard the increasingly cluck-less pile of bloody feathers now.

Bareback Mountain

I would have to assume that the casting stage of Brokeback Mountain must have taken place at least a year and a half to two years ago. Meaning that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes weren't yet together at that point. How ironic would it be if instead of Michelle Williams they had cast Katie for the role? Talk about method acting, she could have been even MORE believable that Michelle. "Gotta' run Katie, John Travolta and I are just heading over to the Scientology Benefit Dinner, I might not come home tonight, ya know, we'll be drinking, might just grab a motel room or something. See ya in a few days..." Slam. Tears.

Brilliant New Idea for Trend in Tattoos

This is fantastic. I just thought of this totally original new idea...
Ok ready? For my next tattoo, I want to get a really deep statement, something that will make me appear intelligent, daring, cultured, and most of all spiritual. I want to get a tattoo of some short statement, some piece of wisdom, some maxim, maybe even just one word, but get this, HAVE IT WRITTEN IN CHINESE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!

How cool is that! How original is that!!! Some blurb that I vaguely understand the philosophical meaning of, something like, WISDOM, TOLERANCE, PEACE, CLARITY, or INNER LIGHT.... No, Ive got it. Im going to have this tattooed on my neck in Chinese characters:

"I am the 1st person to get a Chinese character for a tattoo, look how spiritual and enlightened I am," I think they have a single character for that.