Local Economy Booms as Thousands Flock to Afghan Beauty Pageant

MissAfghanistan
Originally uploaded by hellmar.

The 2005 Miss Afghanistan Pageant enters its third and final day of competition today in Mazar-i-Sharif, drawing controversy from conservative groups. Protesters took to the streets, blocking traffic in Mohammed Square. "The revealing of ankle, thigh, and brow skin for the sordid pleasure of men is a serious afront to our culture," Shahid bin-Walid al-Azzizi-Muqtari told our reporters. "many goats will have to die for Allah to forgive this one." Mohammed Mohammed Mohammed bin Mohammed al Mohammed agreed, "curse the Americans and their Western influence of equality for women. Allowing them to live is bad enough, let alone develope a sexual identity! The streets of the United American States will run red with the blood of the infidels! God will punish them with fire of 1000 hells!"

Local shopkeeper Rahkman Abdul Hakim Mujahid felt differently. "I have sold 20 pounds of millet since last Tuesday, there are a lot of Kandaharians in town this week. Business is superb. My crater have been overrun with customers. And these beauties are not certainly painful on the eyes! I am a proud Afghan today, we definitely produce some of the most shapely ankles, curvaceous wrist bones, and bushy eyebrows in all the world. All 72 beautiful virgins cannot be in heaven today, for surely most of them are in Mazar-i-Sharif!"

Judges cited difficulty in presenting the award to the winner, Nahida Umniya Shahrazad however, due to complications arising from actually having to tell these women apart in full burkha. Eventually, judges deterimined that Nahida was the one with the striking nasal bones and hairless toes.