What is the Point of the "Close Door" Button in Elevators?

I doesn't ever work. Its a placebo button. I feel like I'm in some B.F. Skinner experiment, if I push the correct button I'll be rewarded by being taken to the correct floor. If I push the "CLOSE DOOR" button, its supposed to elicit some conditioned response for me to salivate about getting to the proper floor quicker. And I suppose that the little placard that says, "should elevator or doors fail to operate, do not become alarmed, press the red alarm button. There is little chance of running out of oxygen, our staff are on call 24 hours a day and will assist you," is yet another test.

Don't become alarmed, press ALARM? What the fuck is that? I suppose that's the, "you'll get an electric shock if you don't realize the irony of this instruction," parameter of the experiment.