Fly at Your Own Risk Airlines

I Think someone should start a new airline called, "We Won't Be Cowed Air," or "No Fear Airways," or "Alternative Air." That last one's kinda' catchy.
Essentially it would be an airline where security goes back to pre-9/11 standards, and maybe they do some behavioral profiling ala El Al, (like that, see what I did there?) they put a Marshal on every plane, and maybe if the government gets their act together and overcomes the dogged complexities of MAKING A FUCKING LIST, they could screen passenger names against known terrorists; but essentially, they just go back to pre-9/11 security, hair gel, pocket knives, all of it. Its fast and cheap and they don't violate your privacy or confiscate your property. As long as the cockpit doors are fortified, what's the concern? People should be able to bring anythign on a plane that thay are legally allowed to walk down the street with.

And if you're "brave" enough to fly on this airline, (because in all practicality and according to every TSA, FAA and independent-watchdog-group study, it wouldn't be any less safe than the other airlines under the current procedures) you would actually arrive on-time, un-molested, feeling confident and proud to be an American.

The truth is, post 9/11 airport security is entirely symbolic. It wastes time and money, and doesn't do anything for safety. The same percentage of knives and guns make it through in undercover tests as did pre-9/11. Its all a big horse and pony show to make people feel safer, without actually making them safer. I think I speak for many others when I say that it actually makes me feel far less safe, because current procedures openly display how backwards, poorly thought out, inefficient, and imcompetent TSA really is. So I say, let me keep my lighters and pocket knives and liquids and gels, let my hide my drugs in my shampoo, and if I end up on the 1 in 5 million planes that actually gets hijacked or blown up, I'll take my fucking chances. The chances are far greater that I will die in a car accident on the way to the airport, or that the plane will crash due to some human or technical error, that by terorist attack.

Maybe it could be called, "I Took Statistics In High School Airlines."