God Only Knows

It occurred to me the other day while hearing The Beach Boys' song, "God Only Knows," that this phrase doesn't really make sense, at least in the contemporary vernacular. When you think about it, 'God only knows what I'd be without you,' doesn't sound quite right does it? God ONLY knows? Um, no, I think God knows a few more things than just that. Perhaps they could clarify by inserting a comma, "God only, knows what I'd be..." But what they must have been trying to say was, 'only God knows,' as in, this thing Im talking about is so deep and complex and powerful, that ONLY God could fully understand such a thing. The statement is a reverence to God, only he is all knowing and wise enough to 'know.' Instead, they say, 'God only knows what I'd be without you.' Which to me personally, sound like a bit of an insult. When you say that someone 'only knows...X' you're saying that's ALL they know. ie: Billy only knows how to ride his bike with training wheels. Or, he only knows one card trick, he's not a real magician.

So The Beach Boys are indicating that the only thing God knows is what a pathetic loser Brian Wilson would be without that chick. I beg to differ. I think God probably knows what Brian Wilson ate for breakfast this morning too, and what color underwear he has on, and about that little gay tryst he had backstage with a fan in San Diego in the fall of '72. I'm certain that my mother once told me that God knows when Ive been bad and when Ive been good. Or maybe that was Santa. Actually I think they're the same person come to think of it.