Cold turkey isn't as delicious as it sounds

I seem to be somewhat dwelling on middle easterners and addiction today. Coincidence I swear. Or maybe it was that Afghan opium I took rectally last night... Oh wait, maybe that was just a bad dream. Anyway, ever wonder where the term "going cold turkey" came from? I thought this old Homer Simpson quote was funny, but upon further anaylsis, I realized the profound implications of "cold turkey."

www.straightdope.com thus defines cold turkey:
Some say it's because heroin addicts undergoing withdrawal are so pale and covered with goose bumps their skin looks like that of an uncooked turkey. As with most good stories, however, this appears to be crapola. "Cold turkey," which dates from 1916, is related to "talk turkey," meaning to cut the comedy and talk frankly. Similarly, when you go cold turkey, you dispense with the preliminaries and get right down to it. Why turkey rather than crested titmouse, say, is not clear, but perhaps it was because the turkey, as your standard U.S. game fowl, recalled the no-bull simplicity of frontier life.

Well, that helps a bit. But it also raises more questions, why, as was implied, is it not called "cold beef," if it is derived from an idiom meaning "no bullshit." Or "cold fungus?" Because fungus likes to grow in warm bull feces. So if your going cold turkey off of something you are abusing, its because you are doing as they did in the old days of cold turkey, and dispensing with the pleasantries and getting down to business. Your not cutting down, your quitting cold turkey, as in the 1916 "talking turkey." But when did "talk turkey," become, "speaking in a direct manner?" Turkey speech (Turkish) seems to be filled with excess syllabels and redundant utterances. Wouldn't ONE gobble get the point across, rather than the colloquial "gobble gobble gobble?" Those silly turn of the century-ers. What would they have thought of next?

How about just saying, "I'm going penguin." The coldness of the meat is implied, and penguin vocalizations are little to none, perhaps the occasional "honk." And I am certain that as in Japanese, Penguican packs a lot of meaning into a short uttterance. "Mushmushi" in Japanese means "Greeting and most formal and cordial introductions, I am very pleased to be speaking with a respectable and honorable person of your stature on this most joyous and lucky afternoon."
Much the same way that "honk" means "excuse me waiter, would you be so kind as to explain to me what the featured soup of the day is?"

So I'm going penguin from the Aghan opium, or at least from administering it THAT way.